| Wow that speaking in Pam Ross's class yesterday had me up all night in conversation with the HG. Along with all of the other million things running through my mind regarding opening nite for sub30 tomorrow.
I haven't written in a LONG time. But my life can be summarized with this...intimacy with the Holy Spirit. He is ....SOOO much more than i ever knew or even know now. The bible says He is the "first fruits of our inheritance" We are "joint heirs" with jesus. And God gave us the Holy Spirit as a "first fruits" gift to us .... that lets us "taste" the promises of our new covenant.
And the deal is as such ...a "first fruits" offering to God is when you give the VERY BEST of something FIRST. Its the best ...FIRST. So when God gave the Holy Spirit to us as a "gift" ..... it was the very BEST He had. Heaven, and anything else we receive up there is simply adding to what we already have ...the Holy Spirit on the inside of us, living, breathing, leading, sharing ....
So i got to thinking ..... and i realized something. I had no clue who the Holy Spirit was. I had no clue what i had. I was limiting Him b/c my perception of Him was weak. So i began to pray ..."Holy Spirit, i'm sorry i dont know who You really are. Help me see You. Help me know You. Help me to honor You."
And things began to change. The anointing began to increase. And then it became REAL. The fact that I have Him with me.....its REAL. 24-7. I consult Him on everything. When i make a bad decision, it isn't b/c i didn't know, its b/c He told me to go left, but i chose not to listen. But yet, He remains .... willing to help me recover. He's sooo patient.
He's sooo strategic. He's soooo unique. I've asked Him to invade every area of my life. And He is .... and it feels so ...different. It feels like walking in a new pair of comfortable shoes. The kind that look amazing but dont hurt your feet cuz they feel like slippers. its taking some getting used to. Its very sureal.
Especially when I speak. Wow. yea. About that ...
Communication has always come so natural to me. STuding the word, preaching, ministering ...came natural. But now ...
Oh, but NOW. I realized SOOO much about that. I feel like an idiot now for being so foolish all these years. For thinking i ever had a clue.
This is all i know as of now: When you're up there, honor Him. Wait for Him. Its not information you are delivering. Its Him you are loosing. Its Him you are delivering to the people.. When the Word comes out of your mouth quickened by Him, He wraps around it and He delivers it to the hearts of the people by the Anointing. Hes out there in the audience working, moving, mending, breaking, restoring. He is the "yoke breaker" and you are simply the temple "hosting" Him. Making sure He is taken of. Making sure He is comfortable. Making sure He has everything He needs. While you stand on the platform ...yeilded. submitted. following His lead. Trusting. It takes A LOT of balls to do this. And for me, its new. Learning to move WITH Him. Not moving first and then waiting for Him to catch up.....No. Moving WITH Him. In unity. Going where He goes side by side. Its like learning to write with my left hand and trusting its going to make sense and look good. And sometimes, i mistakenly pick up the pen with my right hand and do it myself, cuz it feels "natural" b/c i've been doing it that way forever. So now, I am humbled.
Probably one of the coolest things about it, is that nobody knows how bad i blow it. Nobody can tell that i picked up the pen with my right hand instead of the left b/c He covers me. He honors me. He never leaves me hanging. He never exposes me. But when i step off that platform.....He knows. And i know. And it leaves me on my face and thankful and humbled and more informed for the next time. To think that the mighty powerful One of the God head, the One who took the word and created the universe ....covers me and honors me when HE deserves all the honor ...it just blows my mind. Makes me fall on my face. To be trusted with the anointing ... *shaking head ..... baffles me.
The anointing and the Holy Spirit .... they're redesigning my life.
And i'm loving it.
Hope everyone is doing well. Peace out. |
